I am probably one of the most judgmental, strongly opinionated and critical people you will ever meet. I know this about myself. I honestly make an effort not to be this way. I have made huge strides over the last 10 years to rein it in. I'm proud of that but I know it's an ongoing battle. Sometimes I'm so bitchy I can't believe it myself! Contrary to popular belief I do not think I am perfect or 100% correct. I am learning to admit my mistakes.
That is why I'm "venting" today. Someone told me today that a good goal for me is "be employed". I may be misinterpreting this comment as it was "written" and in cases of email, etc you can't get the "tone" of the thought. But since I get this A LOT, I'm going to assume it meant that I need to get off my ass and find a job. If you don't know, I am a "housewife". I do not have a job outside the home. I do not have kids. I have a husband and two dogs and at this time, a very small apartment to take care of. I have worked since I was 18 years old. I worked while getting my 4 year degree in three years. I have had a few months from time to time when I was unemployed. I have held several jobs in my nearly 37 years. In 2007 I found I could no longer continue at the job I had for a few reasons, one of them being ethical issues. My husband was at a point in his career that he could afford the bills and our lifestyle and he agreed that we could make it on his income. He encouraged me to quit my job as I was unhappy and becoming ill from stress. From the day I quit my job I began hearing the criticism. I was lazy. It's not like I had kids to take care of. Why did I think I was too good to work? My husband actually loves having me home all the time. I did all the chores in the house, mowed the lawn, fixed his coffee and breakfast at 5 am, packed his lunch and had his dinner on the table when he got home. I worked out and got exercise, something I "never had time for" while working. I kept myself busy by learning to sew and doing crafts with my girlfriends then I volunteered at a retirement home a few days a week. Yet people still criticize me. I don't get it. It is none of their business. If this choice was good for me and my husband, why is it anyone else's business? I could see it if I were drawing money from the state. I could see it if I were asking people for money or aid of some sort. I could see it if I weren't being a productive part of society and weren't paying my bills. But I am productive. I was active with two community organizations as well as my volunteer activities. I also work with an organization supporting our troops serving in the wars. Where did anyone get off judging me! People do not know the sacrifices we have made to allow me to stay home. We have one income. We do not travel as much as a lot of our friends. We rarely take a vacation and if we do it is usually short and cheap! We have one vehicle. We live in a dinky little apartment that is far below my standards. (Ok, that's the snob in me talking!) We don't go out to events, concerts, etc as much as some people do. That's not really a sacrifice as we tend not to enjoy such things much. But we have made the decision to not do these things because we don't want to and my happiness and sanity is very important to both of us.
It's not just me that is criticized for my choice. I know lots of "stay at home moms" who are judged harshly for choosing to stay home. Well guess what, I personally think THEY ARE RIGHT! My opinion is that if you have kids you should stay home to take are of them. Why are you having children for someone else to raise? Why is putting more money in the bank more important than being there for your kid's first steps and first words? Yes, taking care of kids is expensive. But the most of the working moms I know of aren't working to make ends meet. They are working so they can buy new cars and flashy jewelry and pretty clothes for themselves and their kids. They are taking vacations several times a year. Well, that's just great, if that's what they want to do. But don't bitch to me that you are never home to take care of your kids and see your spouse. That is YOUR CHOICE. If you chose tighten the belt and stop spoiling your child with everything they whined for you could stay home too. My point is, it's a choice. And it may not be YOUR choice but you should respect others enough to not trash talk them because you disagree with or don't understand their choice. I think that's what we need to learn. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion but we don't need to share that opinion with everyone all the time. This is something I'm struggling with. Believe me! I am aware. I get so frustrated sometimes when I see people doing things that I disagree with and that "in my opinion" are wrong. But I'm learning to bite my tongue. I may rant and rave here at home but I'd never tell you that I think you screwed up raising your kids. Oh, I have done this in the past and when it comes to my family, I feel the right to voice my opinion and to criticize. Especially when what I'm seeing is harmful in some way to the kids or when you bitch and whine to me. If you constantly want to tell me your problems, I am going to tell you what I think. Fair trade, don'tcha think?
Everyone is on social media websites. I love being able to stay in touch with friends and family. And I know not everyone is going to agree with everything I say on these outlets. I encourage and actually like having mature discussions on "controversial" topics such as politics, etc. Note "MATURE". Part of having a mature discussion, I feel, involves getting FACTS. Do not spew crap on my page. If you want to throw in your two cents worth, fine. But please, do it respectfully and don't feed me lies and propaganda. And when I suggest you look into the facts, either do so and continue our conversation or refuse to do so and shut the hell up.
And when I post about something that is important to me, such as ending animal abuse, don't waste my time arguing against it. That just makes you look like an ass and wastes my time. I despise people who find it necessary to belittle me or insist on goading me into an argument when it's something I feel strongly about. Just because you don't believe in something (or anything) strongly enough to stand for it, don't criticize me.
Wow, I think I got a little off topic. But I also think I covered my issues for today.
Everyone has opinions. It's human nature to judge and criticize. But we really need to take a good look at ourselves before we voice all of our opinions, judgements and critical thoughts. If it can't be done in a mature, responsible way, don't do it.
Now, if I can just practice what I preach!
I will not call someone a doody-head. I will not call someone a doody-head.
I will not call someone a doody-head. I will not call someone a doody-head.
I will not call someone a doody-head. I will not call someone a doody-head.
I will not call someone a doody-head. I will not call someone a doody-head.
I will not call someone a doody-head. I will not call someone a doody-head.
:o)
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