I am the youngest of six kids. My mom was a stay at home mom until I was in high school or college. I was lucky, I know. But to support such a large family my dad worked two and three jobs at a time while he was physically able to work. And you know what? He also came home and helped my mom take care of the house and the kids. He has always helped cook and clean. To this day my dad will help with chores inside the house besides doing the farm work. In fact, there are some things my dad cooks BETTER than my mom. When my mom has to go out of state to see or help the other kids, my dad keeps the house clean. He doesn't let dishes pile up at all! He does his own laundry and even runs the vacuum several times a week. (And BTW, my dad did not have cushy office jobs. My dad did hard labor, like working in a foundry.)
My husband has done housework as long as we have lived together (longer even). He actually used to be a better housekeeper than I was! While I was working he usually had dinner on the table when I got home, did the dishes, laundry, cleaned the bathroom, etc. Even now that I'm not working (and when I'm not dealing with a broken foot) he helps out! And even though I'm not working or stressed out because of a job, he insists I get out of the house and have fun with my girlfriends. I don't know how I got so lucky to have an awesome dad and an awesome husband but I'm very thankful. Maybe I chose a husband who was helpful because I expected men to be that way.
It takes everything I have to hold my tongue when I hear my friends' husband give the girls a hard time because the house isn't spotless while they have been running after kids all day. I have yet to see one of those men do 1/10 the work the ladies do. I'd love to sit there for a weekend and watch these men run the household by themselves while also waiting on their wife.
Women, if you have a husband or son who acts like this, I'd be happy to hold "boot camp" where I teach him to do some fucking housework OR put my boot up his ass. His choice.
"men" who think they are too good to do housework."
ReplyDeletePerhaps it is because your husband lived in a shack & appreciates a clean place to live in and his mom and dad wouldn't clean house.
"This fucked up attitude is just behind abuse and cheating"
Men don't "abuse" or "cheat" they have a penis to "abuse" & "cheat" with.
"I'd love to sit there for a weekend and watch these men run the household by themselves while also waiting on their wife."
Ya think???
"His choice."
Hide & watch
Dear PNC,
ReplyDeleteJust because I know, her husband grew up in a house where his Mom kept things pretty clean and the kids were expected to do their chores. No chores done meant no play or TV after homework, or on the weekends.
Her husband's father, while he was away for work often, also contributed around the house a good bit. Cooking, cleaning, fixing...
The penis, contrary to popular belief, doesn't make the decisions for the man... he might give it more credence than it's due, but it is not the sole source of abuse or promiscuity...
In my opinion, men and women combine how they are raised with how they _think_ things should be to become what they are... We choose spouses that fit our personal definition of what they should be based on what we grew up with combined with what we wanted different for ourselves. Sometimes we succeed/ get really damn lucky...
Hey PNC...Do I know you? How about having the balls to tell me who you are! If you are going to spout of let me know the genius I'm talking to.
ReplyDeleteMy husband didn't grow up in a shack and his parents both know how to and did do housework. They taught him to be respectful of others, including his wife.
Your comment "Men don't abuse or cheat they have a penis to abuse and cheat with." is too stupid for me to even decipher. Does that mean the penis does the abusing and cheating? I know we joke about men's brains being in their penis but IT really doesn't have a mind of it's own.
I'd be interested to know what the rest of your comment means but you don't seem to have any way on your profile for me to contact you. So, if you feel the need to let me hear your ideas be adult enough to let me know who you are and have a way to contact you.
Wait...maybe your penis typed all this?!?! :o)
Thanks for reading!
Haa haa! Jen! Well put!
ReplyDeleteIt didn't let me see your comment until I wrote mine. Weird.
It's funny to see how much you and I think alike!
Jess,
ReplyDeleteYes, we know of each other, yet I do not claim, by any stretch of the imagination, to be a genius.
I like to read blogs & as far as I know, it is not essential to use ones actual name (is it?) to engage in conversations on/in a blog.
I chose to use my initials, just as anyone else has the choice to do.
It is not a matter of one having "balls" or not, it is a matter of ones' take on what you write, which just so happens to be mine.
It is not absolutely essential you or anyone know exactly who I am, rather that I have a viewpoint to express & share, which is open to rebuttals, should one choose to.
I equate commenting on/in blogs of particular interest to me, rather like joining a debating team, not a "one up-man ship" competition.
Either ya got the "balls" to engage in commentary or you do not.
I could have interpreted the title of this particular article, if it were not for your qualifying it by stating "They'll learn to help out around the house", as something less than flattering of your character.
If one chooses to write a blog, then one chooses to an open forum, to which another may (if they choose)comment/rebutt.
At times, one may react less positively to ones' comment(s) just because it does not qualify as a person of a known or a well known identity.
With your permission Jess, I will clarify my comment(s):
Clarification of "stupid" comment:
#1. "Men don't abuse or cheat they have a penis to abuse and cheat with."
Clarification: SOME men masturbate,(abusive in MY view) as well as "cheat" on their wife or significant other.(ULTRA abusive in MY view)
Clarification of: You said; "I'd be interested to know what the rest of your comment means"
#2.Clarification of
"Ya think???"
You said; "I'd love to sit there for a weekend and watch these men run the household by themselves while also waiting on their wife."
Clarification: Do you really think any wife could/would be able to tolerate more than one day to say the least, a whole weekend allowing their husband to "run the household by themselves while also waiting on their wife."
#3. Clarification of
"His choice."
Clarification: "boot up his ass"; is self explanatory.
#4.Clarification of
"Hide & watch"
Clarification: You said; "I'd love to sit there for a weekend and watch these men run the household by themselves while also waiting on their wife."
Is also self explanatory.
I do not feel I have broken any of your rules regarding my comment. Perhaps somewhat provoking & solicitous, yet not breaking any rules.
In the future I will try not to be provoking or solicitous ("Ya think???"...LOL) and not break any rules, if you will stand by your own rules.
Your blog is meant to be more than informative. I sense it is meant to be that, as much as it is fun, entertaining, provoking, at times sarcastic, sensitive and most of all a place for you & others to share & express their individuality as well as ones' viewpoint(s)on any given subject matter you openly blog.
So far you have not offended anyone that I can see.
Therefore, you are doing exactly what you were encouraged & set out to do.
Open a blog (& the door,) to your personal identity, individuality & viewpoint(s) thus allowing others to follow suit with respectfulness & without regard to their individual identity should one choose not to reveal their full name.
Perhaps ones' full name would provoke issues between more than one of the parties engaging in conversation here, instead of evoking commentary.
Respectfully
PNC
PS.
Is my "genius" showing yet?
Jen
you are a WVU Engilish/Journalsim major....
any errors?
PNC,
ReplyDeleteIn fact, a couple...
Spelling/Punctuation:
"ones’ “ should be one's
"rebutt" is rebut
“debating team” while not completely incorrect would work better as debate team
"Engilish" is English
"Journalsim" is Journalism
That being said, I do not view blog comment boards as strict environments for grammatical perfection. Slang is likely to run rampant and typos may be profuse since many people comment using their mobile devices, which tend to lend themselves to errors… I am generally not a stickler for these types of errors in this environment, but you did ask.
As for personal writing style; in my opinion, a bit wordy with a ton of superiority and somewhat lacking in the ability to express fully comprehensible thoughts behind your still vague "Clarifications". I find your sentences unnecessarily complex. In my opinion you have overused comas and the term “one” in reference to an individual, which I personally find snobbish and pompous.
However, as you say, this is a blog and its cultural intent is to stimulate conversation in which you may express your opinions in whatever manner you choose. If you would like to keep your explanations vague then it’s entirely up to you.
...Continued next
As for your desire to keep your identity to yourself; perfectly acceptable in the digital world of blogs, comments, virtual communication etc...
ReplyDeleteI would ask that you extend the same courtesy of anonymity to others. Calling out the apparent fact that you also "know of" me, or we 'know of each other' by pointing out my educational background smacks of hypocrisy. I did not advertise my education or other personal details in my comment. One might infer I am rather closely acquainted with both the blogger and her spouse, but without additional details it might take some creative thinking to glean my identity. Because you chose to provide additional facts about me, you have diminished my opportunity to remain anonymous. Something I did not do to you in responding to your comment. I did not ask your identity but rather extended you the courtesy of not pushing you to reveal yourself. I find it a shame you couldn’t find a way to extend the same courtesy to me. As you point out yourself, “It is not absolutely essential you or anyone know exactly who I am”.
If you prefer to remain incognito, perhaps you can understand someone else’s similar desire and refrain from providing information that might identify them without their consent.
As for your initial comment; if you know me, my family and the blogger and still chose to make this comment: "Perhaps it is because your husband lived in a shack & appreciates a clean place to live in and his mom and dad wouldn't clean house.” I am now personally offended by you, your thoughts and sentiments, and hope I do not have any ongoing relationship with you. By making this comment you imply that the blogger’s spouse grew up in an unkempt household. If this situation is true, you are rude for pointing it out in a public forum. If her spouse chose to change his personal household after growing up in such a situation shouldn’t it deserve a little admiration instead of ridicule?
If this situation is untrue, you are an ill-informed presumptuous asshole whose intent appears to be to demean the spouse of the blogger.
We are indeed all entitled to our opinions and an opportunity to express them. The above is what I think of you based on our most current interaction.
As for your statement: "Men don't "abuse" or "cheat" they have a penis to "abuse" & "cheat" with.” I too was confused by this original statement and find your clarification so off topic that I struggle to see how you made that connection. However, your comments come from your point of view and my complete understanding isn’t absolutely necessary.
I could go on for a while but find myself tired of reading your comments and allowing your attitude to influence my day.
I imagine I will see more comments from you on this blog to which I will likely respond. However, at this time I do not see you as respectful.
And yes, your “genius” is showing.
Aww man, can't we all just get along?!
ReplyDelete:o)
PNC, YES, you have every right to read and comment on blogs without telling us who you are. And that's just fine and dandy. But when you insult my loved ones (which you did in the second line of your first comment) I tend to get pissed off. I'm not very eloquent speaker (or writer) and tend to just say it like I see it. If you are going to engage in reasonable discussion, great! (Youre comment about my "death" blog was interesting and right on topic.) If you choose to say nasty and untrue things, please don't bother to post.
What I wanted to do, and tried to do, was contact you (PNC) privately so I could respond to your comment w/out being such a bitch. Unfortunately I'm not able to do so, whether from settings or my inability to use Blogger well I don't know.
So, maybe I should amend my rules: DO NOT TAKE POT SHOTS AT MY LOVED ONES. You can call me anything you want. Hell, I'm the first to admit I'm a raving lunatic and a giant bitch! If you feel the need to tell me that, great...bring it on! But leave my family out of it. Since we do know of each other, if you need to hash out anything, contact me privately and I'd be happy to hash away.
The negative thing about the cyber world is how "writing" can be interpreted many ways, sometimes wrong. So let's all try to be clear on our posts. I'm sorry if my posts are not clear. I do try to organize my thoughts though sometimes my "Jessica-speak" comes through! So if something isn't clear, ask me. That's what I did by questioning your first response. Thanks for clarifying. We may not agree but at least it makes a little more sense.
Again, PNC, thanks for reading and continue to do so. Comment away. Just don't disrespect my family. That's a touchy subject with me.
Jen...I do wish I could express myself the way you do. Part of my expectations for my blog is to help me communicate better. Fingers crossed! (I'm sorry you were "outed". If you want me to delete the portion of the comment that gives too much info on you let me know.)
Hey PNC...one more question. You stated:"I could have interpreted the title of this particular article, if it were not for your qualifying it by stating "They'll learn to help out around the house", as something less than flattering of your character."
ReplyDeleteWhat did the first part of my article's title make you think about me? I'm dying to know! (I'm not being smart, I'd truly like to know.)